The Bunkest/Episodes/Season 1: Bunk Babies
"Bunk Babies" is a scrapped episode of The Bunkest. It was originally the sixth episode of the first season before being replaced with "Ivy’s Engaged". * Reason: Gross as hell. Made TS and a large amount of users uncomfortable. Synopsis The Bunkmates (except for Madi and Prof. Wright) get turned into babies. Transcript (The episode starts with the Bunkmates walking across Bunker Desert City, USA, when they see a golden fountian) Tornadospeed: Check out that fountain, guys! I wonder if it's real gold. Ivy: Amazing! Moon Snail: We should all get very close to it and find out! Tornadospeed: Okay! Madi: Have your fun, guys. Once, I jumped into a fountain. My mom got really mad. Papa John and I--(Papa John walks off her lap and follows the other Bunkmates.)--er, I mean, I am staying right here. (The Bunkmates all walk up to the fountain.) Ace Lad: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this isn't real gold. Tornadospeed: Ah, nuts. Typical, this city can't afford anything nice, anyway. Ace Lad: Man, wouldn't it be crazy if someone fell in here? Tornadospeed: Haha, yeah... (awkward silence) Papa John: Meeoww! (falls in) The others: Papa John, no! (They climb in after her) (Now everyone's getting in the fountain. Once they step into it, they begin to grow smaller.) Moon Snail: What's happening? Pixel: '''I don't know, but I'm getting smaller. '''Tornadospeed: This must be what dying feels like. Moon Snail: Is it blissful? Tornadospeed: It's like a dream. Ace Lad: I'm getting smaller and smaller by the moment. Ivy: It’s so, peaceful. (Everyone has finished turning into babies, and some of them are wearing diapers. Papa John is the first to step out of the fountain walking towards Madi.) Madi: Awww! I'm seeing you the day you were found at a Papa John's by your old humans--which is how you got your name. Hey, what happened to the others? (Madi picks up Papa John and starts walking towards the fountain. She hears a ton of...baby noises?) Madi: Hah, what's with the sound of a pile of babies- oh sweet baby Jesus. (Madi peeks inside the fountain....and sees the actual baby Jesus!) Madi: It really is him! (she picks him up) Hehe, he's adorable. (also sees the others as babies) Oh and I guess everyone turned into babies. (beat) WAIT EVERYONE TURNED INTO BABIES??!?! *anxiously* Alright, alright, let's get you all home! Maybe the professor has something for this! (Madi struggles to grab all the babies, as they attempt to venture around the mall. Eventually, she is able to grab them all and takes them back to the Bunkest. At the Bunkest, Madi walks in carrying several babies. Bob and Flametail are on the couch watching TV.) Madi: Hey everybody! I'm back! Bob: Oh, how's it goi- OH SWEET BABY JESUS! Madi: Yeah, I have him too! (Shifts around pile, revealing Sweet Baby Jesus, who probably still has a beard and everything.) See? Bob: Wow. What's up with the rest of the babies anyhow? Madi: Well, we were all at the mall earlier, and we saw this neat golden fountain! I didn't step in, but Papa John did then everyone else went after her and it turned them all into babies! Bob: And Jesus? Madi: I dunno. Maybe during the second coming of Christ he tried to rescue Papa John? Either way, I don't know what to do now so I'm gonna ask the professor! (Clockwise transition to Prof. Wright in the laboratory, with Madi holding all the baby bunkmates and Jesus anxiously.) Madi: And that's what happened earlier! Prof. Wright: Magic golden fountain, eh? (Places his right hand, which is a robot claw he replaced in an experiment, up against his chin.) Hmmm... Not sure if that's exactly my field of expertise. Madi: I thought you knew about everything! What is your field of expertise anyway? Prof. Wright: Don't you understand? (Holds Madi in one arm and reaches out towards sky with the other, the background briefly becomes a red and yellow patterned background) It's science! (Background returns to normal) Anywho, I'll see what I can do. I might have a book on this somewhere. (Rolls chair over to bookshelf and starts pulling things out.) Nope, nuh-uh. That's not it either. (Books land near Madi. She picks up a few, primarily just different editions of the Wayside School series, when she hears Prof. Wright and drops them.) Prof. Wright: Ah-ha! Here we go! "Magical Entities Found in Shopping Centres volume 4." You better be glad this is the one with the golden fountain. I don't have any of the other volumes. I'll be reading up on this a little and seeing what I can do. Do you think you could handle the babies as I get to research? Madi: I don't know... it sounds hard! Prof. Wright: Don't worry, maybe this could be to your assistance! (Pulls book off shelf reading 'Caretaking 101') Madi: Wow! Do you have books on everything? Prof. Wright: (pauses for a moment, scratching the back of his neck) Actually, those are the only two non-''Wayside'' books I have. Take care! Literally! (Prof. Wright walks away. Soon, Madi starts reading, when a bad smell wafts into the air.) Madi: Oh, god, oh, god, not the smell! Not the smell! (Madi checks the other babies' diapers until she checks Moon Snail's diaper to see that it has poop.) Madi: (makes a face of disgust) Moon Snail, we're gonna need to change you, and I need to endure the smell. Somehow. If only there was someone that could help me here. Guido: (offscreen) Is that-a poop-y I smell? (Guido, a small blue forklift, drives onscreen.) Madi: Guido! I need help. I think you need to make a... (edges eyes towards Moon Snail, and back at Guido) "Pit Stop." Guido: Say no more, my friend. I'm-a trained professional. (Guido drives over to Moon Snail, and revving sounds are heard offscreen. Madi seems a little shocked, but ultimately it is revealed Guido changed the diaper perfectly.) Guido: Pit stop. Madi: Wow. Guido: And now the grand finale! (Guido opens up the dirty diaper, and supplants his face in it, licking out all the poop-y. As Madi watches, her expression of awe changes to one of disgust and horror.) Madi: What? What? Why would you do that?! Why the h-e-c-letter-that-comes-after-j are you doing this disgusting crap? It's not funny, it's just disgusting! Guido: Ah, that's-a the good stuff. I'm going to go somewhere else now. Buh-bye! Madi: Bye Guido, you disgusting freak of nature, you! And don't come back! Pixel: My god, the smell is still there! Madi: Welp, I guess I have to go get the Febreze. Its the only way the smell will go away. Flametail: I dunno, could it really be that bad? (Flametail smells it. Cut to him near a bath tub) Madi: Flametail, what are you doing? Flametail: Drowning myself! (Sticks head into water) (Cut to Flametail leaving the bathroom with air freshener) Flametail: Here you go. Found some. Madi: Wonderful! (Sprays air freshener everywhere) Now, let's see what in that book... (Madi starts reading the book and a song begins in the background.) Madi: It’s never ever easy telling people what to do. It’s never ever easy when the one in charge is you. (The babies are causing trouble.) Madi: '''Why can’t it just be simple? Why can’t they work it out? (spoken) I can’t do everything at once while they just play about. (The babies are causing more trouble.) '''Madi: It’s never ever easy when the one in charge is you. But I can work this whole thing out; now I know what to... (A vase suddenly breaks) Madi: Okay, who did this? (points to the broken vase on the floor) (Moon Snail hides behind a cabinet.) Madi: You little brat! Get out from behind there! (Starts stretching out to get Moon Snail) (A baby cries in the distance) Madi: I seriously need help! Hugo, Trinity, 70’s Cow, Skipper, Goodra, I choose you to help out these babies! Trinity: Alakazam! Hugo: Swampert! 70’s Cow: Bouffalant! Skipper: Gogoat! Goodra: Goodra! (Hugo reaches behind the cabinet and picks up Moon Snail, sending him to his grotto) Moon Snail: WAAAAAAA! (Baby Jesus starts walking on the water in the fish tank) Madi: Are you really- Ugh... Colette: Madi, honey, do you need help? Madi: I really do! Colette: Good, since I’ve dealt with babies before! Madi: Good! Now I have to deal with the Baby Jesus Colette: We had a fish tank? (Trinity picks up Baby Jesus and sets him down) Madi: Now who's crying? (Cut to Baby Ace crying as Colette soothes baby Ivy) Colette: Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. (Pinto and Manic walk over) Pinto: Miss Colette, can I cradle the baby Ivy? Colette: Sure darling. Be carefu, though. (Pinto gently grabs baby Ivy and rocks her.) Pinto: Awww, she’s so cute. Manic: Yo, man, can I try now? Pinto: Sure, Manic! (Manic starts to rock baby Ivy.) Manic: (Sighs) Reminds me of when my Ma did it to me when I was a baby. Ah, memories. Madi: Say, I think it's been a while since the babies have been fed. Colette: Your right. I’ll feed Ivy, you feed Ace. Madi: Ok. (Madi grabs a bottle and feeds Ace.) Madi: Wow, Ace, you're such a good baby. (Madi burps Ace, causing them to vomit.) Madi: Ace, that was yucky! (Skipper comes in with some towels and disinfectant) Madi: Thanks so much! I really need the others to help me feed all the babies. Can you tell them to help? Skipper: Gogoat! (leaves) (cut to Skipper, Hugo, Goodra and Trinity feeding all the babies) Madi: Good work, you four! Guido: (drives in) Pit stop? Madi: No, Guido. We don't need you. And I thought I told you to never come back! Guido: (sadly) No pit stop. (drives away) Flametail: But how do we cure them of the babyness? Madi: Wait, Guido has the cure? If so, then, hey Guido! Guido: (angrily) Pit stop. Madi: Sorry for how rude I was earlier. I heard you had the cure for this... baby... thing. Guido: I do! Madi: Cool! Lemme see it! Guido: No! You were rude! Madi: Welp, we're screwed. Guido: Actually, how about a deal! Madi: What? Guido: Gimme 5 poop-ys and I'll let you have the cure! Madi: (Hesitantly) Sure. (Madi, Flametail, and Bob check every diaper in the Bunkest, and somehow, all of them are clean) Madi: Uh-oh. We need to get these babies to poop! Flametail: Say... I remember buying a gallon of prune juice a few weeks ago. Pixel: Why? Flametail: I was thinking there'd be a plot-convenient moment where we'd need the prune juice for whatever reason. This seems like it! Madi: Well, load them up! (Cut to Madi, Flametail, Bob, and Pixel watching Guido lick out the 5th and final poop-y) Flametail: Alright, you've had your poopies. Can we have the cure now? Guido: Yes! Madi: Yes! (Madi makes every baby drink the cure and they grow back to their normal age.) Madi: Thank you, Guido! Guido: No problemo! Moon Snail: Boy, am I glad to be my usual age again. Tornadospeed: I hope I never have to experience something like that ever again. Ivy: Feels good to be back to normal, but I loved it when Colette, Pinto and Manic cradled me! Well, next time I become a baby, maybe they'll do it again! Madi: Let's celebrate! (everyone sings "It's Gonna Be Fine") Next Episode Preview Pixel: Oh no, Jasmine is a clown now! Ivy: And she turned the Bunkest into... a Cirkest! Both: You'll see what happened in the next episode, "The Cirkest". Ivy: ....never was interested in being in the circus anyways. Category:The Bunker Category:The Bunkest Category:The Bunkest Season 1 Category:Random Works! Category:Some other 5th thing... so... yeah. Category:The Bunkest Episodes Category:Some other 7th thing. Category:The Bunkest Scrapped Episodes